


I'd be so lost if you left me alone

by Jo_Heda



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: A Bit of Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, a bit of angst, and she is feeling better now that he is gone, mono is briefly mentioned just to say that kara never actually loved him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-01
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2019-01-07 19:21:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12239121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jo_Heda/pseuds/Jo_Heda
Summary: Three months after the invasion Lena tries to deal with her issues without actually dealing with them. Luckily Kara is there and she will always be there for her.





	I'd be so lost if you left me alone

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language. (Title from the song Hold On by Chord Overstreet)

Lena let out a strangled scream, sitting abruptly on her bed. She could still see her face and hear her words but she suffocated the whine rising in her throat and closed her eyes.  
She pressed a hand against her eyelids and inhaled deeply, trying to calm herself down while her body kept shaking and sweating.

After a couple of minutes, when her heartbeat started slowing down, she opened her eyes and threw a look behind her shoulder where her clock was, signaling with its bright light the ungodly hours she had woken up to, 3:00 AM.  
She stayed like that for another minute than she decided to get up, knowing for sure that any attempt at going back to sleep would be useless.

After taking a a shower, Lena took a pair of sweatpants and one of the warmest sweatshirt from her closet, went into her kitchen and started making herself a cup of tea.  
While waiting for the water to boil she looked around her penthouse, the pale light coming from outside the only illumination.  
She was so caught up in her observation that when the teapot went off she jumped and hit the cup she had previously left on the counter, breaking it.  
“Fuck…”

She stared at the broken pieces without really seeing them, her mind clouded with the same woman that had been visiting her dreams these last months.  
Lena gripped the counter and tried to stop the panic she could feel growing inside her but when her breath got caught up in her throat and her eyes started watering, she let herself fell, not feeling the pieces of porcelain piercing her skin.

—

Three months after the Daxamite invasion Kara had long made peace with Mon-el departure and she had realized how less burdened she had felt when he had left.  
She had spent the first days in confusion, asking herself why she hadn’t felt the insurmountable pain she knew all too well from losing someone she loved, until Alex had forced her to really to talk to her. That night she had finally admitted to herself the truth behind her relationship with the Daxamite boy and she had decided to leave the burden that his love had been for her behind, focusing on herself.

She had spent a lot of time helping the damage that Rhea’s army had done, while keeping up with Snapper’s orders but even with all the extra work she had felt lighter and more relaxed. 

The only thing that hadn’t changed after the invasion, the highlight of her days after spending hours helping the city as both Supergirl and Kara, was Lena and Kara couldn’t have been more happy about it.

Every week they met for lunch dates and movie nights and Kara had found herself looking forward to this moments more and more.  
She loved how relaxed Lena looked with a pair of too long sweatpants and a shirt she had borrowed from her. She loved snuggling on her couch in front of a cheesy movie or some tv shows after eating too much junk food.  
Kara was getting used to falling asleep with Lena’s warm body curled up beside her and waking up way too early for Lena’s health because of course her friend had to go to work before everyone else and do a thousands of unnecessary things on top of her already busy schedule.  
The truth was that she had already got used to sleep while holding Lena in her arms, nose buried in her black hair and her friend soft snores in her ears.  
That was the reason why, at 3 in the morning, she had decided to stop her fruitless attempts at sleeping. She had left her apartment for a night flight and had ended up near Lena’s penthouse in time to hear the sound of a teapot going off and Lena’s cup hitting the floor.

—

Lena Luthor was no stranger to panic attacks so when her sight went black and her breath got stuck in her throat the rational part of her mind wasn’t surprised at all, too bad that part went totally ignored and her mind stopped working.

Not even a second later Lena clearly felt something appearing in front of her while a soothing sound tried to catch her attention. She half launched herself, half fell on the person in front of her and as soon as she made contact with them she felt their arm closing on her, holding her tighter than she had ever been held.

Lena tried to breathe again while the person kept whispering in her ear, her voice becoming clearer at any passing moments.  
When she finally succeeded, she recognized the familiar scent and the strong grip and she let out a strangled whine while her sight slowly came back and tears filled her eyes.

—

“I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. Breathe Lena. Please”

Kara sighed in relief when she heard the CEO’s lung filling with air and closed her eyes, her ears still focused on the woman’s heart which was pumping violently in her chest.  
She stayed still, only moving her hand in a calming motion against Lena’s back, until she felt the almost inaudible whine and she felt the tears on her neck.  
“Lena”

Kara loosed her grip on the other woman enough so she could look at her and cupped Lena’s face, her heart breaking at every strangled sound coming from the woman in her arms.   
Suddenly the metallic smell of blood hit Supergirl and looking down she realized that Lena, in her fall, had cut herself with the pieces of broken cup.  
“Lena you’re bleeding. I’m going to carry you to the couch. Is it okay?”

She tried her best to make her voice sounds calm even if she could feel the worry and pain boil under the surface of her impenetrable skin.  
When Lena didn’t answer she slowly raised to her feet, the CEO still in her arms, and walked to the couch.  
“Lena I need to leave you for a second. Not even a second. I have to take the first aid kit. Okay?”  
“Ok-okay”

Kara disappeared and reappeared, first aid kit in hand, then she kneeled in front of the woman who was slowly coming back to herself.   
She used her X-ray vision and she looked at Lena with a bit of embarrassment, her cheeks turning a light pink.  
“You should take your pants off. B-because of the cuts, you know? Or I could take them off, your pants not mine. Okay I’m going to shut up but you should really take them off”

Lena looked at her in silence for a couple of seconds, speechless and finally calm enough to completely understand the situation. Then she let out a watery laugh, her voice still a little rough after the panic attack and the crying.  
Kara let herself smile and enjoyed the beautiful sound for a moment.  
“Kara, you’re wearing your suit. I don’t see how I could have mistaken your words”

The CEO slowly got out of the ruined sweatpants with a bit of difficulty, starting only now to feel the pain and rested her head against the couch, closing her eyes.  
“It’s probably going to burn a little. I’ll try to be quick”

Lena bit her lips hard and dug her fingers in the couch while Kara tried her best to make a quick and clean job. After maybe ten minutes, the Kryptonian let herself fall beside her on the couch and stared at ceiling in silence while Lena examined her friend’s work.  
“How often does this happen?”

She let the question flow around for a couple of seconds, then she turned her head towards the golden haired woman.  
“Not as often as it used to the first month after the…invasion”  
“It’s… Is it always so bad?”  
“Usually I can stop it before it becomes too ugly. Sometimes an unfortunate combo of events can make…this… happen”

Kara furrowed her eyebrow, the so familiar crinkle warming Lena’s heart even in a situation like this, then she turned her head to face the other woman.  
“Why haven’t you said anything? You…You’ve been going through all of this alone”

She suddenly stood up and started walking up and down her living room, fist so tight that her knuckles had turned white and a pained expression in her blue eyes.  
Lena exhaled slowly and waited until the woman stopped pacing.  
“Kara this is not your fault. I’ve been dealing with panic attacks almost all my life so it’s nothing new for me. What happened with… What happened during the invasion has only been added to a lifetime of things”

Kara looked at her in silence, her lips in a straight line and hands still clenched at her side.  
“I hate this”  
“There’s nothing you can do about it. They come and go and I just have to go through them”  
“No”  
“No?”

The Kryptonian seemed to deflate instantly. The rage that was boiling just behind the surface now buried while something completely different but just as strong, maybe even stronger, could be seen shine in the universe contained behind her eyes.

Kara kneeled again in front of Lena and she took her hand in hers so gently that Lena breath hitched.  
“I’m not letting you go through this alone. Even if I can only be there I’ll do it. I’m going to help you go through this. Three months ago I made you a promise, Lena. I promised you to always be there for you and always. Always protect you. I have full intention of maintaining my promise”

Lena stared at Kara in silence, her eyes once again shining with tears that she tried not to let fall. The Kryptonian locked her blue eyes with the CEO’s green ones. Lena could clearly see the determination and the love of the woman in front of her.  
Then Kara brought Lena’s hand to her lips and after leaving a kiss on her palm she guided her hand to the symbol on her chest.  
“This is my family crest. This is the crest of the House of El and it stands for “El Mayarah”, Stronger Together. I firmly believe in these words and this is why now I, Kara Zor-El, promise you with Rao as my witness that I will always be there for you, Lena Luthor”

 

When the sun rose that morning, Kara held Lena tighter and let the woman scent inebriate her before closing her eyes again and falling back asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written something in a long time so I'm not sure if it's good enough. I hope you liked it. I really like writing about angsty moments that turn into sweet ones and this is no exception. Supercorp is going to be my ruin.


End file.
